My every-day is not a glorious one. I am kind of messy, and oh-so-emotional. I am plagued by perfectionism and infected with comparison. If I were to give you a running script of my mind – you’d probably run the other way – fast – and never come back. I feel burdened with doubt and unbelief. I doubt that I am enough. I question the gifts and promises He has generously bestowed. I fear the enemy’s lies just might, just might, have an ounce of truth to them.
So, as I’ve cried out to God for freedom from this struggle He has challenged me.
“Then Jesus turned to the Jews who had claimed to believe in Him, “If you stick with this, living out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you.” John 8:31-32 MSG
Test Me in this, He said, challenge it against life. Ok, Lord. I will step out. But not just in my own quiet closet… I will be vulnerable and commit now to blogging about it… regularly. I am not sure what that looks like in frequency or length – but that’s ok. One of the fears the enemy loves to throw at me is that I am alone in this issue that I am the only one. So to debunk the lie I must be vulnerable. (gulp)
“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High, shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty.” Ps. 91:1 AMP
The goal is not perfection the goal is freedom. I am not seeking the “holier-than-thou” status amongst Christians, nor am I seeking to gain favor in the eyes of the Lord. But I am seeking confidence in my walk with Him. I seek freedom in my faith. A boldness to be the me He designed and created and not the version that expectation and comparison seeks to build. I choose to face the doubts head on using the weapons of the Word of the Lord.
Here we Go.