My car hummed in the parking lot. I was late. Again. The kids had been tantruming, the husband had been stressing and now, pulling myself into a skirt and to this sales meeting was torturous. I mean really, with each late tick of that clock came another wave of — “What am I doing? I’m fighting with my loved ones over what, a failed opportunity? Who am I to think I can do this?”
I did my best to tiptoe into the back row, as best as someone can tiptoe in 1-inch heels. It didn’t work, they totally noticed (darn wood floor). Just plant a big ol’ L on my forehead for cryin’ out loud.
As the leader continued handing out awards for top sales, bragging on team members who’d reached the next rung on the success ladder, even calling on those achievers to share their secrets, I sank deep into my chair. Empty handed. Empty hearted.
I wanted this, really I did. Not the money. Not the sales accolades. Not even the recognition. I wanted their confidence. I wanted to know that when I tried something, anything, I would do well at it. I wanted to feel sure and steady in who I was and I wanted to exude that confidence in a way that encouraged those around me – just like these ladies had done for me.
One of the secrets shared that night was to use affirmations. So I did. I said them in the mirror, I recorded them on my phone. (Don’t laugh, it’s true). I tried things like: I am awesome. I can do this. I am a master salesperson. I even threw in a few: I am pretty, I am smart, I am funny and people like me.
And each time I’d walk away laughing—because I really didn’t believe a word I said, I was believing what I thought. My thoughts were always louder than my words.
What would happen if we actually wrote out the thoughts we thought about ourselves? The ones that talk over our good intentions, the ones that negate the cheesy affirmations we write on our bathroom mirrors or list out in our resolutions. What if we wrote what we really thought:
I’m unwanted and unlovable.
I’m not captivating or beautiful.
I’m not deserving of others respect.
I don’t have faith.
I don’t have the right words.
I buckle under pressure.
When they’re written out on paper, they seem rather wrong, don’t they.
Because they are, and there’s only one way to shut those lies up. Only one weapon is sharp enough and strong enough to defeat that lava flow of destructive thinking. And it comes from the place where you began.
You aren’t an accident. You weren’t formed by a random collision of atoms. No, but you knew that already. I know you know that God spoke the world into being and that His word is true. I know you know that He called you by name, forming you in your mother’s womb. You might know that. But you and I, we need to stand on it.
He knows you. The real you.
He knows whats inside. He knows what you are capable of. He knows your strengths and how to use them. He knows your beginning, middle and end. He knows your beauty intricately, how? Because He designed you, every part of you.
So if you want to know you, and want to call your real self out to the forefront. You better start speaking, and thinking, the truth.
All over the house I’ve plastered my mirrors, dash boards, coffee pot lids, even kitchen window sills with truth statements. These aren’t platitudes I hope for, these are true statements my creator has already declared about me. I am calling me out, the real me.
And I dare you to join me.
This is the beginning of a month long series. An affirmation of truth for each and every day. But I really hope you don’t just read it, I hope you take the scriptures and plaster them all over your house. I pray you stop and let these Truth Words speak to you, the real you.
For a list of all the Affirmations in this series click HERE.